For the very first time in far too long, I woke up feeling refreshed, relaxed, and happy. This is so strange for me that it was a glaringly obvious thing. When my feet hit the floor, I realized I was not completely dreading the day. In fact, I was kind of looking forward to it.…… Continue reading On the Cautious Side of Optimism
It’s been awhile. My intention to write frequently didn’t pan out. Though, since the last time I wrote, there really haven’t been any changes. I’m still fighting this inner bullshit and I’m still miserable. I recently reactiviated Facebook out of necessity (social media management) and all it’s done is make me more miserable. The things…… Continue reading CTRL-ALT-DEL
I’m so angry I’m frustrated I’m not good enough I hate who I am My children deserve better than me I destroy every relationship I have I hate myself I hate myself I wish I wasn’t here My girls are better off without me I’m angry that my husband doesn’t see me, doesn’t see my…… Continue reading Thought Process
Sometimes when music is on, a song reaches out and demands to be heard and even though you have never heard the song before, you already seem to know every single word. Today, from Ed Sheeran, it was “Save Myself”. I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe I gave away my money…… Continue reading Save Myself
I have hidden my anxiety and depression from everyone I know. I’ve always been the outgoing funny friend. The one that doesn’t get offended, the one with no filter and a steady stream of sarcasm that says “fuck” a lot. I’m not serious very often, so when I am, it’s not taken seriously. There are a…… Continue reading When light comes through the cracks.
Tonight, I am simply feeling so broken.
Sometimes I find it hard to get up and move. The weight of what I’m carrying around feels too heavy and all I want to do is curl up and…do nothing. I woke up this morning with a horrific headache, irritated eyes, and a sore throat. We are currently in the middle of the worst…… Continue reading On the Verge